Nearly 55% of U.S. adults don’t have a will or estate plan in place. Learn more about these statistics. Probate can consume 3–7% of an estate's value and take months or years to resolve. Find out the cost of probate here. And 58% of families without an estate plan report disputes after a loved one’s death. Read more about family feuds here.

The holidays are one of the rare occasions where families across generations gather in one place, sharing meals, stories, and traditions. These moments are emotionally rich and, surprisingly, an ideal time to discuss the future—particularly estate planning. While the topic might feel uncomfortable, the peace of mind it brings is invaluable.

Questions for Adult Children to Ask Parents

Holidays can be the right time to start sensitive conversations:

• Do you have an up-to-date will or trust in place?
• Who have you chosen to make financial and medical decisions if you’re unable to?
• Have you shared your wishes for medical care and end-of-life planning?
• If something happened tomorrow, would we know where to find your important documents and accounts?
• Are there heirlooms or traditions you’d like us to know the stories behind?
• Do you feel confident that the people you’ve chosen to handle your affairs are still the right ones?

Questions for Parents to Ask Adult Children

It’s also important for parents to engage with their children:

• Do you know where to find my important documents in case of an emergency?
• Have you considered creating your own will or an estate plan?
• If you received an inheritance tomorrow, would you know what to do with it — or who to turn to for help?
• Are there family keepsakes or traditions you’d be heartbroken not to have carried forward?
• If you had to step in to help us — financially or medically — what support would you need?

Bringing up these questions during a quiet moment or a walk can avoid turning the holiday into a formal meeting.

The Gift of Estate Planning

Estate planning isn’t about wealth; it’s about control, clarity, care, efficiency, and legacy. Adult children can avoid painful surprises by knowing document locations and understanding heirs' roles. For parents, the dialogue about planning with children ensures values and traditions carry forward.

Framing estate planning as a gift makes the conversation easier — it's about caring for loved ones and removing future burdens. The holiday season — with multiple generations gathered together — is the perfect time to start.

If you need guidance navigating these conversations, reach out to a trusted advisor. Estate planning is a gift of clarity and love.